These days, stress and anxiety have become a part of my life
much like my morning cup of coffee and afternoon run. From marketing to
performing, rehearsing and trying to make time for all of my original music, I
sometimes feel like a woman undone. I heard a quote the other day off of one of
my favorite Bravo TV shows, Bethenny Ever After. Dwayne, her straight shooter of a driver, explained while trying to calm her nerves, you aren’t just a business woman,
you are a woman that is a business.
That hit home pretty well for me. In the short amount of
time I’ve been building the foundation of my Rebecca Day Music brand, I have
gone from Rebecca Day: College girl with a love and passion for music, to
Rebecca Day: Singer, songwriter,
performer. Not only am I trying to sell artistic services; I am the artistic
service.
Possibly the one most affected by my erratic, anxious
behavior is my child; a.k.a my Mini Schnauzer, Rusty, who never leaves my side
when I’m at home. Every morning, we both get up and I immediately begin working
on getting through a to-do list that my brain couldn’t help but form during REM
sleep. While I have delved deeper into my business, Rusty has developed a more
anxious personality; running around in circles when someone goes to leave the
house and shivering any time he hears a truck driving by outside. I don’t even
want to mention the chaos that ensues when the landscapers show up each week.
I can’t help but feel responsible for this new behavior. Not
that I am directly the reason he shakes at the sound of car exhaust, but I feel
I indirectly can cause some feelings of anxiety when I’m running around the
house 7 days a week trying to run a music business out of a
bedroom-turned-studio.
This morning, out of sheer desperation to quell mine and my
pooches troubled minds, I joked that I should take him to the vet to get a
nerve pill, and I’d ask for a bottle as well while I was there. It seems having
one doctor that would treat both Rusty and myself would be quite ideal since we
seem to have mirroring personality traits.
I have participated in everything from Yoga to hypnosis to
try and be a more ‘chill’ human being. I envy the people who crash their cars,
lose their jobs, and just sit there and say in that calm, devil-may-care voice,
‘It’s all good, man.’ Alas, no outside force can calm this permanently ‘on’
brain of mine.
I figure my ever present need to over analyze every action I
take involving my brand is the result of how much passion I have for my songs,
performances, and supporters. Some nights, I literally have phone conversations
with clients in my sleep. I go to bed creating to-do lists, and wake up
reciting melodies I’m working on in my head.
While I consider all of this to be voluntary self-punishment
on my part, I hope as Rusty ages, he learns to take a different approach to
life; an approach that mimics his part hound dog, part beagle
brother whose sole purpose in life is to try and get to the dog food bag for
yet another afternoon snack.
The term ‘It’s a dog’s life’ was coined to exemplify the
lazy and care free nature canines can live out every day. And although I may
never know the meaning of that phrase, I hope I can cut the apron strings just
enough with Rusty so that he can create a life for himself. After all, they do
say your first child is always a learning experience. While that’s true, I have
found that life in general is one big learning experience, and I’m just living
in it.
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| My mini Schnauzer, Rusty, who is as much a part of Rebecca Day Music as I am. |
Rebecca Day
