These days, stress and anxiety have become a part of my life much like my morning cup of coffee and afternoon run. From marketing to performing, rehearsing and trying to make time for all of my original music, I sometimes feel like a woman undone. I heard a quote the other day off of one of my favorite Bravo TV shows, Bethenny Ever After. Dwayne, her straight shooter of a driver, explained while trying to calm her nerves, you aren’t just a business woman, you are a woman that is a business.
That hit home pretty well for me. In the short amount of time I’ve been building the foundation of my Rebecca Day Music brand, I have gone from Rebecca Day: College girl with a love and passion for music, to Rebecca Day: Singer, songwriter, performer. Not only am I trying to sell artistic services; I am the artistic service.
Possibly the one most affected by my erratic, anxious behavior is my child; a.k.a my Mini Schnauzer, Rusty, who never leaves my side when I’m at home. Every morning, we both get up and I immediately begin working on getting through a to-do list that my brain couldn’t help but form during REM sleep. While I have delved deeper into my business, Rusty has developed a more anxious personality; running around in circles when someone goes to leave the house and shivering any time he hears a truck driving by outside. I don’t even want to mention the chaos that ensues when the landscapers show up each week.
I can’t help but feel responsible for this new behavior. Not that I am directly the reason he shakes at the sound of car exhaust, but I feel I indirectly can cause some feelings of anxiety when I’m running around the house 7 days a week trying to run a music business out of a bedroom-turned-studio.
This morning, out of sheer desperation to quell mine and my pooches troubled minds, I joked that I should take him to the vet to get a nerve pill, and I’d ask for a bottle as well while I was there. It seems having one doctor that would treat both Rusty and myself would be quite ideal since we seem to have mirroring personality traits.
I have participated in everything from Yoga to hypnosis to try and be a more ‘chill’ human being. I envy the people who crash their cars, lose their jobs, and just sit there and say in that calm, devil-may-care voice, ‘It’s all good, man.’ Alas, no outside force can calm this permanently ‘on’ brain of mine.
I figure my ever present need to over analyze every action I take involving my brand is the result of how much passion I have for my songs, performances, and supporters. Some nights, I literally have phone conversations with clients in my sleep. I go to bed creating to-do lists, and wake up reciting melodies I’m working on in my head.
While I consider all of this to be voluntary self-punishment on my part, I hope as Rusty ages, he learns to take a different approach to life; an approach that mimics his part hound dog, part beagle brother whose sole purpose in life is to try and get to the dog food bag for yet another afternoon snack.
The term ‘It’s a dog’s life’ was coined to exemplify the lazy and care free nature canines can live out every day. And although I may never know the meaning of that phrase, I hope I can cut the apron strings just enough with Rusty so that he can create a life for himself. After all, they do say your first child is always a learning experience. While that’s true, I have found that life in general is one big learning experience, and I’m just living in it.
|My mini Schnauzer, Rusty, who is as much a part of Rebecca Day Music as I am.|